Continuing on...

Here I am writing again.  This time not so late night.  I am having lots of thoughts as I am composing.  I have received such encouraging words from friends over the last few days about this that it makes me want to keep going with this.

It's so interesting how much everyone feeds off of everyone else.  Feeding sounds kind of negative, but its not really.  It's very hard to live in a bubble.  Everyone really depends on others to let them know if they are on the right track or not.  For me, I know what I want to do and can feel like I am doing it, but sometimes self doubt kicks in.  I think it must for everyone.  Encouraging words from friends can help to keep you from letting those feelings take over.
I sent out all of the parts to the musicians today for the three new pieces we will try at the rehearsal on Sunday.  This was after many days of really intense work on them.  The finishing touches on music is always the least fun.  All of the really good and exciting ideas have already come and then you're left with just having to make sure everything is in place for the musician to read it.  The sad thing is, I think its nearly impossible to be 100% successful at this part.  There are always going to be mistakes, and you're always going to feel bad about that in the rehearsal.  Right now, everything is a race for me to make the rehearsal go smoothly. Because, really that's when things get exciting again.  You want as little nit-picky details about mistakes in the chart to happen and more collaborating on the music.